Thursday, January 12, 2017

New Year, New Outlet?

Hello all, it's Brianna!

2017 is a new year and it's going to be ... something? Hoping for something good, but no matter what this year is going to be a year of change for me.

If you just randomly found this page, let me give you some background about Books&Briars before I get into my plans for 2017:

  • First - I started with a YouTube channel in October 2015 (Books&Briars)
  • Second - that all started because I love booktube, books, and I was living alone in South Korea teaching English so I had no one to talk to about most of the books I was reading.
  • Third - I love booktube. I loved filming/editing/uploading videos and exploring the community!
  • Fourth - I last posted a video in March of 2016...
Yeah... I stopped booktube with no warning, my last video mentioned that I was filming more and looking forward to uploading more. And then I didn't.


It's actually pretty simple. 

In March I moved home to live with my mother and younger brother in the States in order to finish my MA in English (which I did online). Moving home changed how I spent my time, and introduced me to the difficulty of filming in an environment that ... wasn't really comfortable? 

I'm sure my family would have been fine with me filming. Hell, my brother wants to vlog as well! But I wasn't comfortable.

So I filmed what I could when no one was home, but I got anxious about when they would be returning (anytime), what my pets were doing (making a mess, usually), and all sorts of other ultimately meaningless worries. But I was worried about them.

So I stopped filming for a bit. Then I got embarrassed that I had let moving home stop me from doing something I enjoyed and got more embarrassed. By then - some time had gone by and I felt bad for not posing an update. 

I completely avoided logging on to my Books&Briars account and left it for another abandoned project.

As 2017 approached, and with it my imminent move away from my family, I finally opened my email and my YouTube account after about 9 months, planning to just gut everything and start over.

But people had still been watching - I had somehow gotten a new subscriber (and lost several as well, of course). 

So I decided not to delete everything. I'm proud of what I did last year. I'm still embarrassed that I let my self-consciousness with my family stop me from going forward, but I had a lot of fun making those videos. And I want to start again.

So here's the deal - I will work on this blog and YouTube. I will endeavor to film something before I move and overcome my self-consciousness. And once I move - I will try to keep to a regular posting schedule. What that schedule is, we'll find out later.

I'll be moving in the middle of February, so by March I hope to be active and posting videos. When I can't make videos, or would just prefer to type I'll post here (maybe I'll just make this a place to expand on thoughts too long for YouTube ... there's an idea!).

Until next time!
*schedule in development*

TL;DR: Had a YouTube channel => Fail. Starting again in March, with blogging supplement.
(*link to related video will be posted here*)

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